Wife : Darling kuch Saal Pehle Mera Figure COKE Bottle jesa Tha
Husband gusse se bola : Figure To Aaj B Coke jesa hi hai.
Pehle Reguler Bottle thi ab jumbo pack hai.
****************************************

Wife : Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan
kahan se aaya?
Husband : Mein khud paresaan hu nishan dekhkar.
Maine tu uss wakt shirt utari hui thi.
****************************************

Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
I don’t know what to do?
.
.
.
.
Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…
****************************************

Wife shopping karke wapas aayi,
To husband wife se samaan laate hue bola,
“Zaror Tm Mere Khane K Lye Kch Lai Hogi?”
Wife : Bilkul theek kaha, esme mere new sandel hain!!!
****************************************

Wife : What will u give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband : Le, isme pucchne wali kya baat hai…DHAKKAA!!!
****************************************

Wife to Hubby : Mein tumhari jindagi ki kitab hoon.
Husband : Yehi to afsos hai.
Calendar hoti to har saal change to kar leta!

Hanste Raho

Hanste Raho

****************************************
Ramlila se Hanuman tha farar,
Roll ke liye fit kiya 1 sardar,
sardar tha bahut hi kamaal,
ped se chalang mar ke bola,
“Jo bole so nihal”
Sita DARLING sasriyakal….
****************************************

Sabse maasum dhamki : Jab chor chori
karke ghar se bhaag raha tha,
tab bachcha jaag gaya aur bola,
“Mera school bag bhi le ja KAMINE warna”
mummy ko jaga dunga.”
****************************************

Har gum ko pala nai jata,
Kanch ki chizo ko uchala nai jata,
Kuch karna hi to mehnat karo yaro,
Har baat ko “All is WELL” bolke tala nahi jata!
****************************************

10th class ka student : Mein fail hona chahta hu
Dost : Kyun?
Student : Papa ne kaha hai ki 1st aaya,
to science dilvaunga, 2nd aaya to arts,
fair hua to shadi kara denge!


How to make a woman happy

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy; a man only needs to be:
# a friend
# a companion
# a lover
# a brother
# a father
# a master
# a chef
# an electrician
# a carpenter
# a plumber
# a mechanic
# a decorator
# a stylist
# a good mother
# a gynecologist
# a psychologist
# a pest exterminator
# a psychiatrist
# a healer
# a good listener
# an organizer
# a good father
# very clean
# sympathetic
# athletic
# warm
# attentive
# gallant
# intelligent
# funny
# creative
# tender
# strong
# understanding
# tolerant
# prudent
# ambitious
# capable
# courageous
# determined
# true
# dependable
# passionate
# compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

* give her compliments regularly
* love shopping
* be honest
* be very rich
* not stress her out
* not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

* give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
* give her lots of time, especially time for herself
* give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

* Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

* Bring beer
* Hand over the remote.

Kapil nods and bowls but Imran again

Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs.Pakistan. Kapil is bowling and Imran is batting. Pakistan needs 18 runs in 3 balls.

Ajit : Rabert Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Beemer daalde aur Imran ko out karde.

Rabert : Ok boss Robert goes to Kapil and tells the message.

Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six!

Ajit : Rabert ab Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Yorker daalde aur Imran kaa kaam tamam karde.

Rabert : Ok boss He goes to Kapil and tells the message.

Kapil nods and bowls but Imran again hits it for a six again. Now just one ball and six runs to win.

Rabert : Boss ab Kapil se jaake kya kehna hai?

Ajit : Ab Kapil se kuch mat kehna. Imran se jaake kehna ki uski maa aur beewi hamare kabje mein hai!